mini basket bag and a simple Spring outfit plus how I’m learning to be ok with just being me.
Hello my lovely friends!
I feel I must apologise for being such a slack poster lately. I’ve got heaps of topics to write on and photos/outfits to share but as I’ve been saying for the past few weeks on Instagram, my writing and creative ‘mojo’ has been absent. I’m putting this down to some extra stress in my family right now with people’s health (mine included) and stressful work environments bringing unrest.
As a highly sensitive person I’m very influenced by the feelings and moods of others and thus affected by others stress a lot of the time. Kind of interesting when you couple that with anxiety! But knowing that I am this way and with the positive steps I’ve made on my anxiety-overcoming journey, the current state I’m in is 100% better than it would have been 2 or 3 years ago.
Now I know that I need to rest and remove myself from stress as much as possible. Whether that is by going for a drive in the countryside (handy because I live in the beautiful Adelaide Hills!), watching an uplifting movie, reading a funny book, lying in bed scrolling through Pinterest, doing nothing (yes, sometimes I just lie down and do nothing), texting or calling a friend, think of creative projects to do, Bounce class and praying.
My own sensitive personality frustrates me at times though and if you also are sensitive or even HSP then you would know what I’m talking about – attuned to feelings and moods and your environment can be quite taxing at times. Plus I take AGES to make any kind of decision (has to be the right one!) and I get teary over those commercials where kids are playing in the sunshine with their parents/grandparents/siblings.
Oh, my, I sound like I’m a wreck all the time don’t I! Well, I’m actually not (and neither is anyone else who has anxiety, is highly sensitive, has depression, etc) there’s always good days and slightly bad days and awful days. Everyone, regardless of mental illness, has days like these.
And what I have learnt over this past year (another one to add to the list!) is that this is the way I am. Yes, I have anxiety but the core of me is a sensitive person but also a strong person. I’ll never be a die-hard go-getter. And though I have determination and tenacity I don’t use those traits to ‘get ahead’ in the world. I use those traits to stretch and grow myself. I’m very much an internal person and people oriented (even though I can’t handle too many!) Yes, I have LOADS of ideas and a desire to be successful – as a blogger making my living, a photographer or even as some kind of counsellor/therapist (a combination of all three?) But it’s almost like even if I only helped or photographed one person through any of those professions it would be ok.
Success to me means helping others more than getting ahead in the world by pushing and going hard.
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Before learning all about myself this past year, I was in denial about a lot of things. Mostly how ‘lazy’ I seemed when it came to pursuing success, why I couldn’t just ‘do’ stuff and why the heck I let so many things get to me! Now however, I’m starting to accept and recognise who I am more and more. Saying to myself, this is who I am. Being ok with me, how I am.
I’m telling you, it’s much nicer than trying to fit into society or certain ideals when you simply start telling yourself that it’s ok to be you! God made us all with different facets of our personality and gifts so we can do what we need to do on this Earth to the glory of God.
So I’m just learning this and trying to remind myself that it’s ok that I am the way I am – a sensitive, sympathetic, feeling person with lot’s of creative ideas and a desire to help others.
Until next time lovelies!