blush pink and lace outfit for winter and the deal with faking self confidence.
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Winter would have to be the best season in my opinion. Not because I enjoy being cold! Rather because it means I can wear cozy sweaters and jackets. Winter/cold weather fashion suits me because I can cover up the parts of me I’m not particularly fond of too!
It’s almost a point of irony, the fact that I constantly take pictures of myself to upload and share here and on social media, even though I actually have little self-confidence, anxiety and am quite introverted.
Strange right? Why do it then?
Because I’ve found I actually love sharing my life. The things in it I love. If I let a lack of self confidence or my introversion get in the way I wouldn’t have been able to connect with others through this blog.
I also wouldn’t have seized many of the opportunities that have come along.
Over the years I’ve taught myself to ‘fake’ self confidence so that I can take up those opportunities. To get through certain situations and get out of the comfort zones I keep close around me.
Faking self confidence isn’t about disregarding the fact that I am an introvert. Or that I still have a long way to go in gaining authentic confidence. It’s more like I’m employing the use of a tool to help me complete a job, if that makes sense.
It’s like if I have the paper, I just need the pencil to help me complete the task.
So, how do I ‘fake’ self confidence?
The method is actually quite simple; it requires some imagination and the ability to believe in that imagination.
Basically, when you’re in a situation that you think you are going to struggle with or you know makes you anxious, use the power of your thoughts to IMAGINE yourself doing that hard or anxiety inducing thing and then DOING IT WELL. Or map out the situation in your mind where in the end you are victorious.
In essence you are visualising yourself at the other end of whatever situation you need to get through where you are fine, you did that difficult thing. You were successful in making it through!
Let me give some examples of when I’ve used this strategy to give myself confidence through certain situations:
Self Confidence Visualisation
- Early on in my anxiety diagnosis there was a very important music exam to complete for school. Thousands of other students were taking the same exam and we were required to all sit in a massive community hall in the city to take the test.This posed a few problems for me: going into a new situation by myself, LOTS of people, variables of which I had no control over (where I would sit, exam questions and format, where the bathrooms were, potentially needing to talk to others). BUT in the days leading up to the exam I used the visualisation technique to imagine myself breezily walking into that exam hall, calmly taking the test before confidently handing it in before walking out with the knowledge that I had done the best I could. And that I had conquered the fear of taking the test in the first place.
And you know what? I did it. I took the test and actually did quite well! Imagining myself being successful in this situation gave me the confidence to go through with it.
- After making a spontaneous decision to apply for a spot at a photography workshop in the USA I was faced with the daunting fear of having to travel overseas, essentially live in a foreign environment for a time AND the pressure to maximise my time well at the workshop. Up until this time separation anxiety was a major issue in my life, greatly affecting my ability to leave the house or be away from my family. So prior to leaving, I used visualisation to imagine myself smashing it at the workshop. I even imagined myself looking all awesome and chic walking around the streets of the US.
To this day, I am still amazed at how well I did on that trip. Apart from a few ‘hiccups’ I had virtually no anxiety and the trip ended up being one of the best things I have ever done (it helped that my Mama came along too!)
In fact, I’ve even been back again! Even more confident in my ability.
- Almost on a daily basis I use visualisation – when there’s a social situation I’ll imagine myself having a good time, being self confident, engaging in conversation (even though my natural inclination is to listen most of the time). New situations aren’t nearly so daunting anymore. Now I will automatically start visualising how confident I will be and how awesome I’ll feel afterwards knowing I did well for trying something new.
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Now, I need to say that visualisation doesn’t always work. Sometimes it’s just not enough, or maybe you’re not quite ready to go through that situation. Maybe your mind and body simply won’t cooperate. That’s fine! It’s all a process! I visualised plenty of situations that I still couldn’t see through only because I was not yet ready within myself.
By the way, prayer helps too! Seeking God’s help in situations is one of the best ways to boost your confidence.
Well, thank you once again for stopping by! I sincerely hope that what I’m writing here is of some use or encouragement to you (or maybe someone you know).
I hope it will at least give you something to think about.